Transgender woman tells why she moved from Russia to the USA

Evstafieva is not the only victim of St. Petersburg “anti-LGBT fighter” Timur Bulatov. He persecuted and hounded Maria Shestopalova, a singing teacher from Krasnoyarsk, and got her fired, albeit temporarily, for “promoting LGBT people and piercings for children.”

At the end of 2016, at the height of the scandal with Shestopalova, Darina Evstafeva wrote a comment on the teacher’s defense on the VKontakte social network. After that, Bulatov turned his attention to Darin herself, who recently completed a transgender transition.

Bulatov wrote a statement against Evstafieva to the administration of Krasnoyarsk and the Main Department of Internal Affairs in the Krasnoyarsk Territory and threatened to deprive her of parental rights, since “A father with a psychiatric diagnosis changed his gender and is raising children with his Grief wife, HARMFULLY INFLUENCED ON THEIR PSYCHE AND DEVELOPMENT, socializing before them in the female vestments, behavior,” this is exactly what a quote from Bulatov’s address looks like on his page on the social network VKontakte (spelling and punctuation preserved).

“My family and I were traveling around the United States when I found out that Bulatov began to poison me. The police began looking for me and sending me subpoenas for questioning. Friends said that the police asked how to find me. My friends were summoned to the police station for questioning about me,” says Darina. – Bulatov’s denunciation became the last push towards emigration. At first we decided to stay in the USA for a longer period than planned. And recently we realized that we will not return to Russia. I don’t miss my home country, and the children don’t want to go back.”

The number of Russians who have sought asylum in the United States has been growing for the last four years, and by the end of 2016, it reached record numbers for 20 years (the latest data for 2017 has not yet been published).

Internal statistics of immigration lawyers who work with representatives of sexual minorities, confirms a sharp increase in the number of LGBT people who have sought asylum in the United States.

“This is not the first time I have encountered homophobia in Russia. Even before Bulatov’s intervention in my life, the police showed up to me based on a neighbor’s denunciation,” recalls Darina. “The police asked how my sons and daughter were feeling after I changed, whether my children were suffering, and asked other personal questions. They behaved very politely and explained that they were only working out signals. I replied that everything was fine with the children and they could only suffer from communicating with the police.”

“But shortly before this, we had to change our place of residence due to the homophobic behavior of neighbors and the administration of the school where my eldest son studied. I was expelled from the parent committee, conditions were created for my son that were incompatible with normal studies. At the new place we were again tormented by our neighbors. They were outraged that my voice and my image did not match each other,” explains the transgender person. “The neighbor from the apartment opposite began to puff with indignation at one glance at me.”

“Our family has long been mentally prepared for emigration. We were at a low start because we understood that nothing good awaited our family in Russia. We were constantly afraid for the children, we didn’t understand how they would live in corrupt Russia, where there are no social guarantees and anything can happen at any moment,” admits Darina.

In Krasnoyarsk, Evstafyeva had a successful business in the installation and maintenance of control and security systems. Including she worked with the city administration. With the departure of the company had to leave.

“I come from a small village in the taiga and have always worked hard from morning to night, I’m used to starting from scratch and working hard. I built a business in Krasnoyarsk for ten years, but I don’t regret anything: I registered the company in the name of other people, and I don’t even know what’s happening to it now,” says Darina. – There are especially many homophobes in Krasnoyarsk, since there are a large number of correctional colonies in this region, and homophobia in our area has been elevated to a cult. But the experience of my coming out showed that there are very few convinced, fanatical homophobes. Most homophobes are driven by irrational fear, which is cultivated by the Russian government. The authorities need the image of an enemy to distract Russians from real problems. And often negative stereotypes about scary gays, lesbians and transgender people are dispelled after personal communication with LGBT people.”

“People can behave perfectly adequately until they are frightened. For example, the administration of Krasnoyarsk did not have any questions for me during the long period of cooperation. But when Bulatov “pressed” our local officials, they gave him, some strange fighter for morality, my personal data. They handed me over, to put it simply. The officials were so scared that they broke the law by giving out personal information to a third party,” Evstafieva said indignantly.

Now the family lives in Philadelphia, and there, according to Darina, “no one is surprised that there are two mothers in our family.”

Фото: Depositphotos

“Learning English was my hobby back in Russia, so I don’t have any language problems in the USA. I started a new business in the USA, it’s still very small, but I’m sure I can develop it. Many issues are resolved here faster and easier than in Russia. In the USA, I started sleeping at night,” admits Evstafieva. – In Krasnoyarsk I couldn’t sleep until the morning, I was nervous and worried. Now I come home in the evening and instantly relax.

In Philadelphia, where I live now, I feel very calm and comfortable. People on the streets are smiling. We make friends with our neighbors, talk about pleasant things, and have barbecue and wine parties. It surprises no one in our new circle that there are two mothers in our family. Strangers do not interfere in our lives. My children are happy here, and that’s the main thing.”