'You will curse and thank God at the same time': how school shootings cripple the lives of surviving teachers

Kimberly Krawczyk was a teacher in Parkland, Florida in 2018. She survived one of the deadliest mass shootings in the United States and decided to reach out to teachers in Yuwald, Texas, where she recently Salvador Ramos, 18, killed 21 people. Edition Business Insider published her statement. Next - from the first person.

Photo: Shutterstock

I was a teacher at Marjorie Stoneman Douglas High School in Parkland, Florida. On February 14, 2018, a former student brought a gun to campus, killing 17 people and injuring 17 others.

I taught math and worked during the shooting, but I didn't open the classroom door. The shooter didn't notice my class. I think he was so caught up in the chaos he was causing that he didn't realize we were there. We are very lucky.

I remember someone once told me that it was only 10 minutes of shooting, but it was much more. We saw the corpses of children, we went out, and they were lying there.

When I heard about the shooting in Texas, calls started pouring in from my family. Then calls from friends. Then colleagues started asking if I was okay.

But I'm not okay. The numbers were not initially accurate in the news I followed. But I have learned to wait and watch. As the numbers went up, my heart broke.

On the subject: Teenage killers and mass shootings: why an assault rifle in the US can be bought before a bottle of beer

I have seen photos of teachers who must have done everything they could to save their students—their children—because the teachers see them as family. I spent the night answering calls and text messages between bouts of sobs of grief and anger. How could this happen? Don't we keep saying "never again"?

It's so easy to say we're sorry this happened and ask each other if we've seen today's news.

Why on earth do we keep picking sides? Which side is right when it comes to preventing senseless killings?

We are all wrong. We need to recognize this and start working together. Gun laws are wrong, school policies are wrong, school security is wrong, mental health services are wrong, school funding is wrong. We can do better, we must do better. We as a society are not doing our job.

Yuwald community, let me first tell you what others have told us: “You are loved, you are important, you are needed. Come together - community matters."

And let me also tell you what no one has told us: “You are strong, but you don't have to be strong. You can ask for help and demand that it be of high quality.”

If you are invited to the park, go. The family tries to help - let. Someone will buy you a latte - nod and smile. Love comes in many forms.

You may be interested in: top New York news, stories of our immigrants and helpful tips about life in the Big Apple - read it all on ForumDaily New York

In the coming days you will be working on the funeral. You will have to fill out victim reports and organize a fundraiser. You will struggle to get out of bed and forget what day it is. You will walk the dog. You will hate God; you will thank God. You will find the strength to move forward.

After Parkland, I had several conversations with journalists, families, and law enforcement.

Always the same: what could we do? I keep talking because I hope one day I will resonate with someone who can make a difference.

People call and try their best to check on me. And for me it is very important and I appreciate the care. But it's very hard to understand what I went through if you haven't gone through it yourself.

I still teach, but now I teach at a different school. I have a service dog that helps me a lot. And talking to kids really helps. I even have an open heart tattoo with the number 1257 because the number 1257 will forever be in my heart. (This is the room number she was in with her class at the time of the shooting. – Ed.).

We are a family bound by something terrible. We have a group chat and we send messages to each other on every anniversary, birthday and holiday and I send them little gifts. I even have lunch with one of us on the weekend.

The original column is published on Business Insider.

ForumDaily is not responsible for the content of blogs and may not share the views of the author. If you want to become the author of the column, send your materials to [email protected]

Read also on ForumDaily:

Very strange places: 23 sights in America, puzzling

Why turn on flight mode while traveling and how a small smartphone can harm a huge plane

Warm and inexpensive: top 15 cities in the US for a comfortable life in retirement

How to get to Europe without leaving America: a guide to interesting places in the USA and Canada

Do you want more important and interesting news about life in the USA and immigration to America? — support us donate! Also subscribe to our page Facebook. Select the “Priority in display” option and read us first. Also, don't forget to subscribe to our РєР ° РЅР ° Р »РІ Telegram  and Instagram- there is a lot of interesting things there. And join thousands of readers ForumDaily New York — there you will find a lot of interesting and positive information about life in the metropolis.