To see New York and die: how immigrants are buried in America

At Tatar society evenings in New York, I often see a sincere grandmother. She is over ninety, looks like a god’s dandelion, while elegantly dressed, drives a car, receives guests - in a word, she lives actively as much as her advanced age allows.

Фото: Depositphotos

And then one day she says: “I used to fly very often - to California, to other countries, but now I don’t travel far, I’m afraid of dying on the road. I have already ordered a tombstone and a place in the cemetery has been determined - I agreed on everything myself. All that remains is to die." She's joking like that. But, as it turned out, there is no tombstone in the garage, writes NJ Abdullina for Idel.Realities.

The elderly in New York agree on their burial during their lifetime. They themselves save up money for this, buy a place in the cemetery, start paying by installments, prepare a vase for cremation or a tombstone. As they write on specialized sites, places in public burial places cost from 200 to 2000 dollars, in private ones from 2000 to 5000 dollars.

The topic of the last refuge also concerns relatively young people. There are even special tours. For example, in Pennsylvania there is an Orthodox monastery. He has a nursing home with medical personnel and a cemetery.

One familiar grandmother once admitted that she also went there:

“I really liked the place - there is wonderful nature, quiet, fresh air!.. And a good nursing home (that is, a place where nurses and doctors take care of the guests). I want my last days to be spent there. And when I die, you can bury me there, and all the servants of the monastery will pray for my soul. This is my dream!"

This grandmother has already lost hope of being buried in her homeland in Ukraine, next to her parents. She hasn’t been there for decades, there are no relatives left. The children have already taken root in America, so in Ukraine there will be no one to even come to the grave. “No matter how sad it is, it’s better for me to end my days on American soil,” the grandmother concluded.

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True, she did not fully decide what to do with the body. Burn or bury in a coffin? Cremation is cheaper. According to the funeral site, the simplest cremation, including cemetery services and a vase, costs 1400 dollars, prices for standard funerals start at 3500 dollars. More grandiose ceremonies - with service, funeral services, etc. - they can cost as many as fifteen thousand. And if a client wants to be buried in a memorial cemetery, and even in a mausoleum or in a crypt, then it’s worth counting on amounts from 31 thousand to 67 thousand dollars.

In a Russian-speaking Facebook group, a discussion once began among immigrants about the funeral. Most commentators said they want to be buried in the ground in their homeland. But there are those who agree that their ashes should be on the fireplace in the children's home or be dispelled somewhere in a warm country.

In American families, such vases stand in houses, waiting in the wings. For example, grandfather died, and grandmother still lives. An urn with ashes stands on the fireplace - when the second spouse dies, they will be buried together.

Funeral business, as in Russia, is one of the most successful. I know one immigrant from India, he is serving a Muslim funeral at his hearse. Earnings are not bad: he has a new two-story house, a large family, several cars in the garage.

Immigrants from different countries have created infrastructure for themselves. Let's say Jewish funerals take place in their farewell homes. Large inscriptions in Russian invoke passers-by in the Russian-speaking area, not far from the legendary Brighton Beach. There are also sites where people of exactly the same faith and nationality are buried. For Muslims, there are also such burial places.

Friends told of a woman from Georgia who wanted to be buried in her homeland. She was treated for cancer for many years, but to no avail. Knowing that the demise was already near, the woman agreed with the embassy of her country in the USA.

And here is the dramatic story of a guy from the Tatar diaspora who died in the United States, where he had only one relative. He did not have the money to transport the body to Uzbekistan, to his homeland. Representatives of the Tatar diaspora tried to help as much as they could. They were looking for a place in the cemetery (this is usually also agreed in advance) and money for the funeral. Sending home came out in a large amount, the embassy did not help. But the situation was somehow resolved.

From time to time I see posts in Russian-speaking Facebook groups: compassionate compatriots announce a fundraiser for a family that was left without a livelihood after the loss of a bread-winner.

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And if there are no relatives in a foreign country and no one will require a body from the morgue? For such cases, there is an anonymous cemetery, the city authorities will take care of the funeral at the budget expense. Hart Island is a well-known place since the 19th century, homeless people end there, those whom no one took from the morgue, who did not have money for a funeral ... Among Russian-speaking immigrants there are also homeless people, those who give up, are addicted to alcohol, drugs ... How many of them end their days in an unnamed cemetery is unknown. According to Reuters, more than a thousand bodies are buried annually on Hart Island. You cannot come to the cemetery at any time - visits are allowed only by agreement with the administration and only once a month.

If someone wants to find a relative there, it will be difficult to do. The dead are buried under the numbers. The name, if known at all, is fixed in the database. Enthusiasts launched a special project to identify the buried here. The search requires many months and financial costs.

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