Why children commit suicide and whether it can be prevented - ForumDaily
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Why do children commit suicide and can it be prevented

When a teenager ends his life with his own hands, those around him are often perplexed: he had everything, he didn’t complain, nothing indicated the possibility of such an outcome... What is really going on in the souls of children who are thinking about suicide and making a terrible decision - and is it possible? help them?

Фото: Depositphotos

Christina's story

Christina is 15 years old. She's tall and has freckles. Her favorite subject is physics and she loves the TV series “The Big Bang Theory.” This winter, she tried to commit suicide at the new school where she went after moving, she says Present Tense.

“I’m fat and I know it myself,” Christina begins.

At first, her classmates didn’t notice her, and that suited the girl. Physical education lessons became a problem: “Every lesson the teacher said that I was lazy and asked if I even wanted to get married,” says the schoolgirl.

Christina admits that she runs slower than others, and was embarrassed to jump rope because the boys “stared at her chest.” Each failure was ridiculed by the teacher in front of the whole class, and soon jokes about Christina's weight became a favorite topic of other students. The class teacher sympathized with Christina and advised her not to pay attention so that her classmates would “get tired of it faster.” But they didn’t get bored: in the winter, someone signed Christina’s Russian language notebook “The Fat Pig.”

“Then I wanted them to see what bullying could do to them. I decided to leave gym with the words “Goodbye” and go to the fifth floor to jump. And the whole school would have seen, and everyone would have known who was to blame.”

Kristina’s mother Svetlana found out about her daughter’s bullying only when she was called to school after the incident. She demanded that the physical education teacher be fired, threatening to write a statement under Article 110 of the Criminal Code – “incitement to suicide.”

“I didn’t even notice anything, do you believe me? – Svetlana recalled in a conversation with a correspondent Present Time. “She was always quiet with me, she read a lot, about something complex, physical, and I was all about work and didn’t get into her soul.”

The physical education teacher changed his place of work, where he is now is unknown. Kristina moved to another school: “They [the school administration - NV] asked my mother not to raise the kipish, they said that it would ruin the image of the school. Is image more important to them than someone's life? I hate you,” the girl gets angry. And he adds at the end of the conversation: “I shouldn’t do this anyway. I feel sorry for my mother, she was very scared, we talked to her a lot later.” When asked if she could take such a step again, Christina replied: “I think not.”

Фото: Depositphotos

Misha's story

Mikhail lives with his parents in St. Petersburg, he is 17. He studies well, is not afraid of the upcoming Unified State Exams, he is the life of the party - recently his friends gave him an electric guitar for his birthday, and he has dozens of congratulations on his VKontakte page. Mikhail has a second account - only six friends know about it, and there he subscribes to many depressive public pages. The young man assures that he will never dare to commit suicide and tries not to “display his real feelings” to others.

“They stupidly won’t believe me if I complain about something, they think I have nothing to worry about in life,” says Mikhail. He also admitted that he was afraid of ridicule: “And what will I say? Why am I sad? They will tell me that everyone is sad,” explains the young man.

More than a year ago, Mikhail wrote the following message to his best friend Artem: “I don’t go outside anymore, only to school, I barely do my homework, I watch TV shows, but more often I just lie on the bed, look at the ceiling like an idiot and I don’t do anything, I think about my death, but I can’t do it, commit suicide.” “You see, I said back then that I wouldn’t do this,” Mikhail showed the correspondence to the NV correspondent.

Artem in conversation with Real Time said that Mikhail “holds up well”: “I’m his friend and I know when he’s feeling bad. But with others he’s a man, he holds his own.” The young people refused to talk about the reasons for their depressed state.

According to the WHO, many people who think about suicide do not seek help for exactly the reasons that Misha called: they are uncomfortable and they are afraid to meet misunderstanding, because the topic of suicide, depression and mental disorders is highly stigmatized.

Фото: Depositphotos

Suicide statistics

According to WHO, every 40 seconds around the world someone attempts suicide and about 800 thousand people die from suicide every year. In 2012, suicide became the second leading cause of death among young people 15-29 years old. Statistics for Russia were cited by Sergei Korotkikh, an employee of the Main Directorate of Criminalistics of the Investigative Committee of Russia, speaking three months ago at the discussion platform “The Child’s Right to Safety.” According to him, the number of suicide attempts among minors increased from 1 in 094 to 2014 in 1. In the first three months of 633, 2016 teenage suicide attempts were registered - this is more than half of the total for the entire 2018.

Novaya Gazeta author Galina Mursalieva in May 2016 linked the growing number of teenage suicides to the so-called “death groups” on VKontakte, where children are allegedly encouraged.

Many media and social network users accused Mursalieva of distorting facts and stirring up a wave of panic. Law enforcement agencies attribute 1% of the total number of deaths to the activities of these groups, although they claim that the number of teenage suicides who were members of “death groups” during their lifetime is growing.

The World Health Organization estimates that for every suicide in the world there are significantly more people who attempt suicide every year. It is difficult to give an exact figure: according to the statistics of suicides in the world there is still not enough information. Only 60 from 172 WHO Member States have data that can be used to calculate the suicide rate. Statistics in other 112 countries are compiled using the simulation method. In some countries and in almost all religions of suicide - a taboo and an extremely sensitive issue, which also does not add accuracy to the numbers. WHO experts call the approximate number - for each person who committed suicide, in all likelihood, there are more than 20 people who have attempted suicide.

Фото: Depositphotos

Why do children do it

Suicidologist, candidate of medical sciences and member of the board of the Family Counseling Society Elena Vrono told the correspondent Present Timethat teenage suicide attempts can be both “true” and “demonstrative-blackmail”.

Unlike adults, adolescents often make demonstrative suicidal attempts, completely unwilling to end their lives, says Vrono. They just want to change the situation in their favor and do not hide their intentions, but they do not fully understand the possible consequences. The psychotherapist cites as an example the story of a girl who decided to attempt suicide in order to avoid punishment. She survived only because she lives in Moscow, where there is an intensive care unit in all children's hospitals.

“I meant: the ambulance will arrive, they will take me away, my mother will have no time to argue with me, and then, when she comes to cry at my bed, I will tell her: you know, I took yours, broke something there, broke it, and she won’t be punished.”

According to Vrono, suicidal children think that death has a beginning and an end, so they are willing to risk their lives in order to prove their case, punish the offender or insist on their own. Children, in principle, are often poorly aware of what death is and that it is a non-returnable state.

“After this, mom will understand,” an eight-year-old boy told a psychotherapist after attempting to commit suicide. The reason is that he behaved very badly at school, and his mother said: “One more remark, and we will send you to an orphanage.” Therefore, having received another remark, the boy decided: “If I die, this will convince my mother that my own child cannot be sent to an orphanage,” he shared with the doctor.

“I ask him: “What does it mean to die?” And he says to me: “Well, I’ll hang and watch her cry. And then mom will understand that you can’t do this, and everything will be great with us.” It will be good in this world, he thinks, but not in the next,” explains Vrono.

Teenagers are much better than young children to understand the concept of death. The first reason for teen suicides, according to the psychotherapist, is hard drugs, they cause immediate dependence. And addiction leads to depression, altered consciousness, which pushes to aggressive actions.

Фото: Depositphotos

The second and main cause of teen suicides, which is highlighted by a specialist, is domestic violence, both physical and psychological. Bribery and humiliation do not allow the child to feel safe and secure - just like a belt in his hand.

“I remember the child’s father came to me, he brought a boy about ten or eleven years old. His son began to run from the house, but not far away - he slept in the elevator in the next entrance. The father could not understand what was happening. At the same time, my father is a scientist, he taught mathematics somewhere abroad. And he was very upset that the boy was doing poorly in mathematics. He works with him, but there is no result. The father says: “Don’t think, I don’t hit him, but I hold the belt in my other hand so that he can concentrate better.

“Belt in hand” is violence! That is exactly why the child ran away from home. Father, thank God, understood this,” says Vrono.

Respect for human rights and the rights of the child is something that is so lacking in many Russian families, the psychotherapist believes: “There are no parents who wish harm to their children, unless they are sadists or crazy. But many people believe that you cannot raise a child, like a puppy, without beating. Therefore, we have to explain such seemingly obvious things - that the child must also be respected.”

Violence and humiliation in the family and society can lead a teenager to impulsively attempt suicide. Vrono claims that in this way he strives to remove himself from an intolerable situation and does this by means available to him. The doctor gives an example: “I remember I talked to a 15-year-old girl who drank a bottle of acetone and received severe burns to her esophagus - disabled for life. I ask her: “Why?” She: “Not why, but why. I had to do something to silence my mother." In short, I came home late again, my nails are black, my hair is dyed, my skirt is short, and this is not the first time. The mother shouts: “Prostitute!” Of course, the mother did not want her to be harmed, she wanted her daughter to hear her. And teenagers are characterized by impulsive actions. They strive to remove themselves from an intolerable situation - as best they can.”

Can suicide be prevented?

WHO believes that suicide can be prevented, and there are effective interventions: early detection and treatment of depression and alcohol-related disorders are a key element in preventing suicide at the individual level — along with the support of those who have already attempted suicide and psychological local assistance.

http://suicidehotlines.com

In the U.S. National Suicide Prevention Hotline 1 started working on January 2005 of the year, and in the first year of operation answered a little more than 46 000 calls. In 2017, experts responded to more than 2 to millions of people. In this service you can call the number: 800-273-TALK (8255).

Hotlines also work by numbers: 800-SUICIDE (784-2433), 800-799-4TTY (4889) and other numbers that you can find out more on the site Suicide hotlines. According to the information presented there, calls are answered by “imperfect people who are ready to help, many of whom are volunteers.”

National studies show that people who call a hotline feel “less suicidal” at the end of the call.

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