'We are being shelled, but parents do not believe': people from Ukraine spoke about the reaction of relatives from Russia to the war

On February 24, Russia launched its invasion of Ukraine. Oleksandra and her four dogs have been hiding in the bathroom of her Kharkiv apartment since the shelling began. But her mother, who is in Russia, does not believe her daughter that there is a war in Ukraine. The edition told in more detail with the BBC.

Photo: Shutterstock

“The Ukrainians are killing their own”

“When I heard the first explosions, I ran out of the house to take my dogs out of their enclosures into the yard. People panicked and abandoned their cars. I was so scared,” she says.

The 25-year-old girl regularly communicates with her mother living in Moscow. But during these conversations, and even after she sent a video of her hometown after the bombing, she cannot convince her mother that she is in danger.

“I didn’t want to scare the parents, but I started telling them directly that civilians and children were dying,” she says. “They are worried about me, but insist that this probably happened by accident, that the Russian army will never attack civilians. That it’s Ukrainians who are killing their own.”

Many Ukrainians have relatives in Russia. But sometimes, as in the case of Alexandra, they have an opposite understanding of the war. Ukrainians believe that this is due to the work of the Russian media, which are tightly controlled.

Alexandra says her mother just repeats what she hears on Russian state TV channels.

“I was very scared when my mother accurately quoted Russian television. They are just brainwashing people. And people trust them,” says Alexandra. “My parents understand that there is some kind of fighting here.” But they say: the Russians have come to free you. They won’t destroy anything, they won’t touch you.”

“I almost forgot what silence sounds like. They are shelling continuously,” she says.

On the subject: How to help Ukraine: 22 effective ways

However, the Russian state TV channels that day did not say anything about rocket attacks on the microdistricts of Kharkov, about the death of civilians and about four people who died in line for water.

Russian state television channels justify the war by accusing Ukraine of aggression and continue to call their actions a "special liberation operation."

Any Russian publication that uses the words "war", "invasion" or "attack" can be blocked by the country's media regulator for spreading "false information about the actions of the Russian military" in Ukraine.

Popular TV channels say that the threat to the civilian population of Ukraine comes not from the Russian armed forces, but from Ukrainian nationalists who use civilians as human shields.

Some Russians took to the streets to protest the war, but these demonstrations were not broadcast by the main state television channels.

“They don’t even trust their own children”

Mikhail, a well-known Kiev restaurateur, had neither the time nor the inclination to watch Russian TV coverage of the invasion of Ukraine.

When the shelling of the Ukrainian capital began, he and his wife focused on protecting their six-year-old daughter and young son.

At night, their children were awakened by explosions and constantly crying.

And again they did not let me sleep in the morning ...
Dear, why are you crying?
It's just such a game -
That a ball is falling from the sky.
And again underflight, and again not in us -
You see, we are lucky.
And this is not smoke and not gas at all,
The sky is just cloudy.
Let's play hide and seek now -
Look, there's a hole dug there.
I'll just close the door behind us
And you pray to win...

Author: Ksenia Kirillova

The family decided to move to the outskirts of Kyiv, and then abroad. We went to Hungary, where Mikhail left his wife and children, and he returned to Ukraine to help the military.

Mikhail's father works in a monastery near Nizhny Novgorod in Russia. He did not call the phone when Russia attacked Ukraine, and this surprised Mikhail, so he dialed him himself and told him what was happening. The father replied that this was not true: there was no war and the Russians were saving Ukraine from the Nazis.

Mikhail says he knew about the power of Russian propaganda, but when he heard it from his father, he was simply devastated.

You may be interested in: top New York news, stories of our immigrants and helpful tips about life in the Big Apple - read it all on ForumDaily New York.

“My own father does not believe me, knowing that I am here and see everything with my own eyes. My mother, his ex-wife, is here,” he says. “He and his grandmother are hiding in the bathroom because of the shelling.”

The Russian media has been tightly controlled for many years, and viewers receive biased information about Russia and its activities around the world.

“The government narrative always portrays Russia as the good guy,” says Joanna Szostek, an expert on Russia and political communications at the University of Glasgow. — Stories about the Second World War, the Great Patriotic War, that Russia never did anything bad. That’s why they still don’t believe it.”

According to her, most Russians do not look for other points of view. She believes that a one-sided narrative with harsh criticism of the West explains why the views of Russians may differ from those of their relatives in neighboring countries.

“People who criticize Russia have been called traitors or foreign agents for so long; all critics are foreign agents working for the West. That’s why a person doesn’t even trust his own children,” she says.

On the subject: 'People from my country came to kill me': what Russians living in Ukraine say about the war

"Russia will never bomb Kyiv"

Anastasia's parents live in a small village 20 km from the self-proclaimed "DPR". The village is under Ukrainian control, but Russian state TV channels are always on in their house. Even the clocks in the house have been set to Moscow time, a return to the Soviet past.

When Anastasia woke up in Kyiv early on February 24 to the sound of sirens, she knew how her parents would react.

“Mom was the first person I called on the phone when I jumped out of bed at five in the morning, disorientated. She was surprised and spoke very calmly, almost at ease,” she says.

Anastasia, a journalist, moved to Kyiv 10 years ago. On February 24, she woke up, heard explosions and was worried about where they would hit next: “I called my mother again. I told her that I was afraid.

“Don't worry,” she said soothingly. “Russia will never bomb Kyiv.”

“But they are already doing it,” Anastasia answered. “I told her there were civilian casualties.”

“But it was the same with us when Ukraine attacked the Donbass!” she replied, laughing.

“When my mom said that so cruelly, it just broke my heart,” the girl says.

Anastasia believes that the image created by the Russian media is the image of the “glorious Russian army”, which liberates Ukraine from the Nazis. For many years she avoided political arguments with her parents, but this time she hung up.

“There are still a lot of thoughts in my head. What will happen to all of us? Where is all this going? Will I ever return? Will I see my parents again? I love them very much, but something inside is broken and I don’t think it can ever be fixed,” she says.

How you can help Ukraine and Ukrainians from different parts of the world read in our material.

As ForumDaily wrote earlier:

• On the night of February 24 began full-scale war of Russia against Ukraine.
• In the light of these events in Russia and around the world, protests against the invasion of Ukraine
• US and UK imposed broad economic sanctions against Russia due to the invasion of Ukraine.
• February 25 President of Ukraine Volodymyr Zelensky urged Russian President Vladimir Putin to sit down at the negotiating table. Putin's press secretary Dmitry Peskov said that Putin is ready to send a delegation to Minsk (Belarus) for negotiations with Kiev. He specified that the delegation will include representatives of the Ministry of Defense, the Ministry of Foreign Affairs and the presidential administration.
• In the USA there were large-scale rallies in support of Ukraine.
• Pope Francis visits the Russian Embassy February 25, to personally "express his concerns about the war" in Ukraine, which made an unprecedented deviation from diplomatic protocol.
• European Union, USA and UK imposed sanctions and froze the assets of Putin and Lavrov.
• The United States declared its readiness to start accept refugees from Ukraine.
• February 26, the world famous and one of the most popular groups of hackers Anonymous recorded a video message to Russian President Vladimir Putin. They promised to find all "skeletons in the closet" and "leave no stone unturned".
• As it became known, the Oscar-winning Hollywood actor Sean Penn is located in Ukraine and is making a documentary for Vice about events in the country.
• February 28 The world's largest aircraft An-225 was destroyed during the Russian invasion of Ukraine, it caused alarm and sadness among the aviation world, in which it occupies an almost cult status.
• On the same day, the United States and France called on their citizens immediately consider leaving Russia.
• From the very beginning of the invasion, many actions took place around the world in support of Ukraine. How it was in the USA, see our material.
• On March 1, the United States asked 12 Russian diplomats from the United Nations leave the US accusing them of "espionage activities" as Russia continues its advance into Ukraine.
• March 2 Russian businessman Alex Konanykhin offered $1 million reward for dead or alive Putin.
• Airbus and Boeing refused to work with Russia, this endangers almost the entire civil aviation of the country.
• March 3 CEO and founder of the Russian TV channel "Rain" announced the suspension of the channel. This is due to the Russian invasion of Ukraine.
• On March 4, it became known that President of Ukraine Volodymyr ZYelensky survived 3 assassination attempts during the war in Ukraine.
• Which of the Hollywood stars supported Ukraine, and who was on the side of Russia, read here.
• What Russians living in Ukraine say about the war, you can find out in our material.
• Which companies left Russia and how it hit the economy, read on link.
• Where Ukrainian citizens can receive special services in Poland - according to link.
• The US State Department has warned citizens of Ukraine that the US Mission in Ukraine does not currently offer visa services. That's it services provided in Germany.

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How to help Ukraine: 22 effective ways

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