Personal experience: 10 things that I did not do in Ukraine, but I do in America

My name is Tatyana Rodina, I am the author YouTube channel "Cinema Wine and Domino", I work in the American film industry. Recently it was 10 years since I moved to America. What has changed during this time? I’ll tell you about what I started doing in America that I hadn’t done before in Ukraine.

Photo: IStock

1. I did not eat many different foods

For example, did not eat seafood - shrimp, squid, crab. Unless crab sticks, but it’s hard to call them seafood, it’s more like a chemical compound (by the way, in America I stopped eating them). I didn’t eat sushi at all: I didn’t like it. I didn’t eat different types of salads. I’ll tell you more about this.

There are a lot of different salads in the USA. When I first flew to San Francisco, I was very hungry and went into a restaurant. The menu said "green salad". I decided that it was a salad of cucumbers, tomatoes and herbs, that’s what we call it, with butter or sour cream. And when they brought me a bunch of grass with half a cherry tomato, I was surprised. When I asked what it was, the waiter replied: “It’s a green salad, you ordered it.” He clearly didn't understand why I was unhappy. There are really many types of lettuce here, which looks like grass that has been picked and brought to the table. But when I started trying them, I liked it. Now I eat them a lot and enjoy them.

I didn’t eat exotic fruits in Ukraine - when I lived there, they either weren’t there or they were very expensive. And in
America is full of them: South America is nearby, and everything is exported in huge quantities. Especially avocados, mangoes. They are very cheap. I began to overeat them, for which I am paying now - avocados are very tasty, healthy, but also very high-calorie (I noticed that I began to increase in volume).

2. I did not smile in the streets

After I lived in America, coming to Ukraine, I pay attention to how gloomy everyone is. People sitting on buses or metro are very worried. I understand that life is not sugar and many simply survive. But here, in the USA, there are also a lot of problems, and a lot of people who do not boom, but make ends meet. In this case, you can just walk along the street, face your eyes with a person - he will smile at you, and you will be with him. Also in transport. People here are more welcoming and responsive.

Once, my son and I stopped on the street and could not understand where to go. They began to look for pointers. A woman immediately stopped right next to us and asked how to help. A man came up immediately. Together, they quickly helped us figure it out. I really like it, and over time I became the same. If I see that I need help, I will not pass by. I can just sit on the subway, think about something and smile. I can smile at a passerby on the street or meeting someone's eyes.

3. I didn’t apologize if I was hurt

If you walk down the street in the USA and accidentally run into someone’s shoulder, or someone hurts you, both apologize here. In Ukraine, if someone pushes you or steps on your foot, an incredible cry comes up with insults, they are literally ready to eat you. They both shout at each other. In America, even if you came across someone through no fault of your own, you and this person apologize. Of course, if they give me a brick on the head, I will not apologize, but if it is a case of some kind of rush, both apologize.

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4. I didn’t say “thank you” or “please” that often.

When in America you are offered or asked something and you give a positive answer, you always say: “Yes, please.” And if your answer is negative, you will say: “No, thank you.” Of course, this is a polite form. It is clear that if they are trying to rudely force you to do something, you will not be polite and will simply say “No”. But I mean situations from everyday life.

For example, you are sitting in a restaurant and the waiter asks if you want some wine. You don't just say: “Yes” (“Yes, you are my servant, pour it”). You say: “Yes, please.” If you are asked whether to close the window because it might be drafty, you also answer with “please.” I haven't done this for quite some time. I remember we were sitting in a restaurant and I simply answered “Yes” to the waiter. He didn’t look very well, and I couldn’t understand what I did wrong. Then they explained to me that I answered as if he owed me something. I was rude.

I also learned to add “thank you” if I write a letter or make some kind of request. It is not yet a fact that they will help me and even consider my complaint or appeal, but it is always customary to add “thank you” and only then sign. And I really like it.

5. In Ukraine, I could visit without warning

I could come to friends, just passing by, without a call, invitation, warning. And it was considered
normal between loved ones. In America, a completely different topic: here everyone agrees in advance about when they will meet. They make the so-called appointment - they call up and set a time when you meet somewhere or someone comes to visit someone.

It can often happen that you come without warning, and the person is frankly not happy to see you. Even if you came running with good news or an urgent problem, the need to get advice. And he has no time for you at all, he has his own affairs and problems. In America they don’t do this, especially in large cities like New York, they always negotiate. If you are urgent, you can call and ask: “Are you at home now, can I disturb you?” But even in this case, you need to call, including your best friend.

6. I didn’t leave home without makeup and heels

In Ukraine, I think I even slept in heels. I was always dressed for a party, dressed up, put on makeup, and did my hair. In the USA, I began to take this very simply. Americans don't think about how they appear to others. They do what they like - within the limits of what is permissible, of course (if you want to walk naked, no one will allow you). It is not for nothing that the letter “I” (“I”) is written with a capital letter, and the word “you” (“you” or “you”) with a small letter. They don't show off for anyone here. Often people come to work with no makeup at all, a washcloth on their head, and no one makes any special comments to them. The exception is the dress code adopted by the company. But if we are talking about something simpler, you can be covered with tattoos, piercings, have multi-colored arrows on your head - not a word will be said to you. You express yourself this way and you have every right to do so.

I often see people right in their pajamas going to the store. For example, an American woke up and did not have enough milk for coffee. But I have not seen a single Russian who does this. When foreigners come to Ukraine, they say, they say, what beautiful women and girls you have. Of course, beautiful! We all, as soon as we woke up, immediately grab hold of a makeup bag, half of them have extended eyelashes, made nails, pumped up lips, and tattooing. I in the USA learned to love myself for who I am - natural and natural.

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7. I could not be content with little

I don’t need 200 pairs of shoes in the USA - I understand that I don’t take them off. I’ll put it on twice and throw it away or give it to someone. For the same reason, I do not need hundreds of dresses. For example, this summer I bought a dress that I really liked. I ran through it almost all summer, and the rest hung in the closet. Therefore, here I do not suffer from shopping mania, I became a minimalist. Many Americans buy cheap things - they know that the season is spent and donated or commissioned. They will get rid of them. And an expensive thing is a pity, even if tired. And she will hang in the closet for years. In Ukraine, I had a closet full of clothes, but here there is even a free place.

8. In Ukraine, I never asserted my rights

In America, firstly, the customer is always right. Secondly, there are a lot of various organizations where you can
to complain. Here I learned to demand what I should. For example, my husband and I flew on an airplane to Ukraine and booked two tickets nearby. When they arrived at the registration, it turned out that they wanted to put us in different angles of the aircraft. I raised a scandal, called the manager. As a result, we sat together. I defended my rights. In Ukraine, it is useless to do this; you will not prove anything to anyone. There is a clear system here: supervisor, manager. You can call the boss and complain, defend your rights, and I constantly come across this. You got naughty in a restaurant - you call the director, complain and, most likely, the employee will be fired.

9. I didn’t know how to say “no” clearly and firmly.

In Ukraine, it was always awkward to refuse, even in some frankly stupid situations where you 100% had to say “no,” but for some reason you were embarrassed to do it. In America it's simple. I learned to say “no” as if I had cut it off, and I can repeat it 250 times. Therefore, even when they come to me with requests like to send money, I simply say: “Sorry, but no.” It's not a very bad quality to be able to refuse. It is often inconvenient for us to do this, especially if these are relatives or friends, close acquaintances. But it's very good. First of all, people here think about their comfort and that they feel comfortable or want to do something. And when your soul does not lie, but you are forced, you are forced, because it is inconvenient to refuse, then you do it and quietly hate the one who asked it. And then you also scold yourself for why you agreed. There is nothing good about this.

10. I have never worked so much in Ukraine

In Ukraine, I was the director of a modeling agency. We can say that it was a holiday - some events, competitions, shows, trips. I had time to go to the gym, to friends, to the movies, travel, I traveled so many countries ... In America, everything has changed. This is probably the most unpleasant point, which I am not happy. I'm just like a draft horse here. I work a lot. The work is connected with the cinema, and it is interesting, but terribly hard. Abnormal 15 hours of shooting, the need to get up at 4 of the morning, and coming home at 12 of the night, shooting in the rain, hail, snow, earthquake - all this is very exhausting. I just watch week after week fly by.

I understand that I live here to work, and not work to live. And this change is not for the better. On the other hand, I see the result of my work. People in Ukraine now also work a lot, but they don’t have enough money even to pay for the apartment, especially if it is rented and you need to give money to the landlord, pay for the communal apartment and have something else to live on. I have a journalist friend, very talented, works in a major well-known publication. So, he can barely make ends meet, although he works approximately like me. Although I work a lot here, but I see the result in financial terms. There, no. I’m not saying that everyone in Ukraine lives poorly, but many complain, it’s very hard for people.

The original column is published on YouTube channel “Kino Vino and Domino”

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