Conflicts in the family: lawyers talked about how to protect yourself and your immigration status

All cases of domestic violence are united by the love and hatred of once loved ones. The reasons for these tragedies lie in the emotions experienced by people, the price of which sometimes can even become life. Experts are sure: when emotions get out of control, relationships need to be stopped. This recommendation applies equally to both men and women, because unbridled emotions often turn off the mind and lead to a tragic end. Even if your immigration status in the USA depends on the family despot, you need to stop the relationship, and the issue with the green card can be solved in another way.

Фото: Depositphotos

How to prevent family tragedy and how to act if the situation is still out of control, ForumDaily sorted out with a lawyer, an expert in international law Karina Duval and immigration lawyer Ekaterina Muratova.

“Despite the declared equality of the sexes, traditionally men suffer more often from accusations of domestic violence. There are very few cases where a woman is to blame for domestic violence. Take, for example, The Violence Against Women Act of 1994 (better known as VAWA), it is definitely aimed at protecting women for whom a man a priori poses a danger,” Duvall noted.

At the same time, Muratova clarified that despite the name, the text of this document guarantees protection against domestic violence for both women and men.

“I handle a lot of divorce cases, and my clients are overwhelmingly men. I give one piece of advice to many of them, which I want to voice publicly today. If something goes wrong in a relationship, if there are quarrels in the family, violent manifestations of emotions, quarrels and scandals, such relationships must be stopped. Stop in the bud, regardless of feelings, emotional attachment and sexual addiction. The situation must not escalate to such a level that could subsequently be regarded as domestic violence. Leave this situation immediately, without looking back, regardless of housing problems, the solution of which you can return to later, when emotions and passions have subsided. Divorce is a solution to many problems and the beginning of a new page in life,” emphasized Karina Duval.

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She strongly advises all women who feel neglected by their partners, face possessive behavior, jealousy, surveillance, making unreasonable demands, not to conduct experiments and not wait for such a relationship to end, but simply to leave.

“After all, such a relationship will not end well: either the woman will bend under the man and lose herself as a person, or she will rebel, which is even more dangerous. No need for emotions. “We need to calmly and calmly dot the I’s and turn this page,” the lawyer is confident.

Karina Duval, a lawyer licensed in the United States as a foreign consultant, with more than 20 years of experience. Photo courtesy of Karina Duval.

What is domestic violence?

Ekaterina Muratova emphasized that both women and men are equally affected by domestic violence. Violence is not only a manifestation of physical strength, as is often assumed, but also such behavior as strict control of the second half, restriction of communication with friends and relatives, material control, blackmail by children, immigration status and other things, emotional and psychological pressure.

“Of course, all of the above elements, in their frequency and intensity, should go beyond the scope of disputes that can happen in every family. For example, one spouse may become jealous of the other in some situation. This should not necessarily be considered unacceptable. When such jealousy is painful and is used as an excuse to completely prohibit communication with your other half with friends/acquaintances and constantly monitor her whereabouts, this can no longer be called a normal relationship,” Muratova clarified.

Women are more likely to be victims of physical violence, and men are targets of slander. In either case, psychological violence usually exists. If possible, traumatic relationships are best terminated.

On the subject: How do immigrants protect themselves in case of domestic violence

Often women seek protection only after physical violence has occurred. Men - when their life and freedom begin to be threatened (for example, the other half filed a false report with the police or immigration service).

Domestic violence usually occurs in more than one episode. The stories are similar - victims endure insults, threats, blackmail, painful control and extreme demands of their abusers for a long time. At some point, an event occurs that forces them to seek salvation. According to Muratova, often when victims of domestic violence seek protection, they are driven precisely by fear for their lives, and not by the desire to punish the offender.

Examples from practice

“I had a client who endured bullying from her husband for two years. He completely isolated her from her friends and relatives, drove her and picked her up from work in order to have complete control over her whereabouts, took all the money she earned, humiliated her, insulted her, and threatened her with deportation (their immigration petition for marriage was pending). She suffered, but continued to think that this was just a bad marriage, and all couples can quarrel from time to time, until one evening he began to strangle her with a rope. She realized that being in the same room with this person was life-threatening, and she went to a shelter for victims of domestic violence. Subsequently, she received the status of a permanent resident of the United States (green card) through the VAWA (Violence Against Women Act) program,” said Muratova.

But there are also reverse situations when a man becomes a victim of domestic violence, and then an object of slander.

“My other client is a man. His American wife had filed an immigration petition against him and his infant daughter, and the paperwork was pending. The relationship quickly deteriorated, the demands of the other half grew every day, and the immigration status of not only her husband, my client, but also his young daughter served as an element of blackmail. The demands were standard, but not in standard proportions - complete control of finances, restriction of freedom, humiliation, etc. When the threat of losing immigration status ceased to apply, the lady simply contacted the police with a statement that it was her husband who was using various acts of violence against her. When the police took my client for questioning from his workplace, only then did he reveal details of their family life. He also successfully obtained the status of a permanent resident of the United States without the help of his abuser. Since he had a temporary 2-year green card at that time, we filed a Petition to Remove Conditions (I-751, Petition to Remove Conditions), using an exception to the law that allows victims of domestic violence to file this petition yourself. Otherwise, this petition must be filed by both spouses,” Muratova explained.

Immigration lawyer Ekaterina Muratova. Photos from the personal archive of Catherine Muratova

What to do to an immigrant whose status depends on the despot spouse

U.S. immigration law allows victims of domestic violence to go through the immigration process on their own and obtain documents in the U.S., as offenders often try to use their immigration status to gain complete control and subjugation of the latter. It is important to remember that victims of domestic violence can independently apply for a green card while in any immigration status or without status in the United States.

On the subject: Immigration and divorce: stories of collapsed international marriages through the eyes of a lawyer

“I would like to say separately about the evidence base in such cases. I often hear that one of the reasons why victims of domestic violence do not seek help is because they believe that they cannot prove what is happening to them. Such cases are primarily based on detailed testimony from the victim herself - the chronology of the relationship, how it all began, when the relationship changed, what the acts of violence were and how often they occurred. Not every case involves calling the police and taking down physical assaults. And it’s better not to let it come to that. The law does not require any specific list of evidence because in real life, when a person actually becomes a victim of domestic persecution, he cannot collect any specific evidence. Also, do not forget that such people live in constant fear and emotional stress. It is not possible to document most episodes. A consultation with an immigration lawyer will clarify many issues and help determine the most effective way to arrange your life in the United States without having to endure violence,” Muratova emphasized.

If you need help or if you want to consult in advance about your personal situation, write to Ekaterina Muratova at [email protected] or call +1 (305) 778-7198

You can contact Karina Duval for consultation by e-mail: [email protected], or call + 7 (495) 662-8721 in Russia / + 1 (212) 205-2211 in the USA

Read also on ForumDaily:

Under what circumstances can you lose the right to receive US citizenship

What you need to know about divorce in the United States

Green card hostages: how to find protection from a sadistic husband and avoid deportation

How to get a green card if you are a victim of family violence

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