How a woman created the online community that led to the US massacres

In 1997, Alana's 24-year-old from Toronto (Canada) created the “Involuntary Virginity Project” site for those who could not find a partner. Now community members are engaged in slaughter and harassment of women, writes BBC Russian Service.

Фото: Depositphotos

In 1997, there was no Facebook, no Instagram, no Tinder. Even MySpace was still six years away.

Alana, who does not want to give her full name and surname, was just beginning to meet, she was more than 20.

“For me, all this started late, I then thought: “Maybe there are still people who are as late as me.”

“I noticed that people immediately started making stupid jokes about the 'single virgin' and people who didn't date when they were teenagers,” Alana says.

She lived in Toronto, Canada, where she opened her website, The Captive Virginity Project, for those who could not find romantic relationships.

She called her website a place of companionship, where she posted various articles and kept a list of subscribers.

The site has become a forum for men and women who wanted to talk about loneliness and openly reflect on why they are not able to meet anyone.

“There was probably a bit of anger there, and some men didn’t quite understand that every woman is a special person. But overall it was a place to find support,” says Alana.

One couple, met on the site, even played a wedding.

'Times have changed'

“This was definitely not a group of guys blaming women for all their problems. This sad phenomenon is typical of our days. A lot has changed in the last 20 years,” she continues.

At first Alana shortened the term involuntarily celibate to the short "invcel". Then someone suggested that "incel" would be a more convenient option.

“The word 'incel' meant a single person of either gender who had never had sex and had not been in a long-term relationship with anyone for a long time. But now we can no longer call them that,” she explains.

By 2000, Alana decided to leave this community, being sure that it could function perfectly well without it.

“I didn’t notice what was happening because I wasn’t paying attention. Everything was fine with my relationship, I no longer wanted to think of myself as late in the relationship,” says Alana.

One day, after 15 years, Alana was browsing a feminist magazine in a bookstore and came across a story about a man named Elliott Roger.

This 22-year-old boy slaughtered California, killed six people and shot himself.

Before that, he distributed a 141-page document, which explained in detail his deep hatred for women, fueled by irritation and discontent caused by his virginity.

Elliot Rodger was now considered a hero by some members of the incel community.

But the worst was yet to come. In April 2018, a Toronto resident named Alek Minassian wrote on Facebook: “The Incel Rebellion has already begun... Glory to the Great Gentleman Elliot Rodger!”

Shortly thereafter, he drove into the crowd in a minibus, crushing ten people to death.

“Is this my fault?”

“I was quite bitter, I was angry,” Alana says. “The fact that these murders happened in my hometown made it even worse.” I was hurt by what happened."

“I asked myself, 'Should I feel guilty?'” she says. “Friends assured me that it was not, that in 1997 I did everything I could to create a healthy and positive movement.”

In 2018, the Inselov community reminds a little of the people who communicated on the Alana website. Now this concept refers to a group of people who feel unable to enter into intimate relationships.

The attitudes of people visiting the site vary greatly, but online they regularly vent their anger on men and women who often enter into relationships. The Insela forums also often feature criticism of feminists and women in general.

In November, 2017, the Reddit website, closed its Inselov community, which included about 41 thousands of members.

“A few months ago, when a minibus ran over people, I was unbearably sad that (my coined) term had changed its meaning and I no longer had control over what was associated with it, but it was my ego speaking to me. So I let these thoughts go and moved on. I think that in this situation it is more important to act,” says Alana.

In a significantly changed online climate, Alana created the Love Not Anger project, which calls for reflection on how single people can avoid getting bogged down in anger and find true love.

According to her, she is by no means trying to copy that first site: “On such a forum, a moderator is needed to stop violence, but who has the strength to do such a job? Relationships are hard work and for some people it happens later in life. Some people need to be helped to learn social skills first, but that doesn't mean they should be stigmatized for being different."

Emotional Support

“There are a lot of good things on the Internet. It's good to see that on today's incel forums people are being friendly to each other."

“It would be great if they started to find more positive things in life - real friends, much-needed emotional support, which in turn will help them form relationships and find love. I am convinced that friendship is the first step to a relationship."

Alana admits that she didn’t think she would be doing this 20 years after her first project: “I hope many will respond to my motto and work in the right direction, for positive change, for the sake of lonely people.”

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