How to distinguish a compliment from sexual harassment at work

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It seems that for every five people who claim to be victims of sexual harassment, there is one dissatisfied voice who will ask: “What the hell is this! Have people forgotten how to take compliments? ”

Sexual harassment is not always as obvious as in the case of Harvey Weinstein. That is why it is surrounded by misunderstanding and lack of sympathy. Those who have never experienced anything like this tend to quickly attribute unwanted compliments or touches to “friendliness”. This is the case when “male chatter”, or “locker room talk”, As the Americans call it (also a deceptive phrase), occurs in the soul, then dresses and goes out into the world.

In more regulated areas, such as work, problems with sexual harassment have high rates, and it depends on them whether a person will remain employed. This is a real legal mine. To clarify the situation, the authors of this material for Chicago Tribune talked to experts who told what was needed and what should not be done to avoid sexual harassment in the workplace.

Need: understand the "gray areas"

So what is the difference between sexual harassment and compliment? “There is no good answer to this question,” says James F. Botana, managing partner of the Chicago law firm’s office. Jackson lewis. “Technically, sexual harassment is unwanted or unwelcome behavior that another person perceives as offensive, and that any sensible person will perceive as offensive.” According to Botan, for behavior to be documented as harassment, it must be either regular or hard - that is, either one but very unpleasant situation, or the accumulation of many "not so serious violations."

You can not: ignore the alarms at work

Sexual harassment at work manifests itself in different situations, but, according to Botan, there are several basic “hints” that employers and employees need to pay attention to. “Often they have real consequences: a person who is harassed can be fired, demoted, or deprived of certain benefits,” he says. “There are less obvious signs that it’s harder to deal with: did the victim say that such behavior is unacceptable?”

You can not: talk about the body of another person

Ishena Robinson from Women EmployedThe Chicago-based organization for gender equality in the workplace believes that even minor details play a huge role in such situations. “There is a big difference between the words“ I like your pants ”and“ I like your legs in these pants, ”she says. Robinson believes that such objectification of parts of the body of another person is already sexual harassment.

Necessary: ​​take into account the sex of the employee

Robinson says you need to think about whether you would say the same compliment to another employee. She recognizes that anyone can become a victim of sexual harassment, and uses an example in which a male employee compliments her female colleague. “He should ask himself the question:“ Would I give this same compliment to a male colleague? Would I be comfortable if such a compliment was given to me? ”, She explains.

You can not: impose their own perception of the situation

Both Robinson and Botana say that the biggest misconception about sexual harassment at work is the belief that your intention is more important than the impression created. “People accused of sexual harassment often say:“ I did not mean that. I did not mean to offend. I wanted to joke, ”says Botana. - In such a situation, the person who committed the harassment believes that his way of thinking is decisive, but it is not. It’s about the people who have been the victims of such behavior, not your intention to offend them. ”

Need: apologize, but only if you are asked to

If you are accused of sexual harassment, your first impulse may be to ask for forgiveness from the victim. Repentance, in the opinion of Robinson and Botan, is better than retribution, but it’s up to the decision how to talk further about it, the victim must, even if the situation seems insignificant. Again, it is important to put the effects of the behavior higher than your intention. If the harassment has been documented officially, your personnel manager may initiate a series of meetings to resolve the problem, but it is very important that you do not communicate with the person who is accusing you, if you have not been asked to do so.

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