Emigration with a child: what to take, what to leave, how to adapt

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Moving for permanent residence to another country becomes doubly difficult if children are involved. Most likely, the child will fight with you for every thing that he is used to considering as his own: from boxes of Lego to some snag found in the forest or a one-eyed teddy bear.

How to properly pack things with your child and how to mark the boundary of the “we don’t take this” zone, how to say goodbye to friends and cope with the difficulties of adaptation, the publication says "Here and there".

Toys and treasures

First of all, look around the nursery and ask yourself the question, which of the things you see would be impossible to imagine your child’s room without. It doesn't matter whether the items are big or small or how much they cost. Often, for a child, a superhero poster can be more important than his own bed. We respect his feelings and pack the “treasures” first. Otherwise it will be worse for you later.

After that, try to rank items by their objective value. The main question here will be: what is cheaper, to transport the item or buy a new one on the spot?

At this stage, large soft toys are the first to leave the list: giant bears, huge hares and other cozy dust collectors. You can, of course, leave them with your grandparents until you can move the plush zoo to a new location. But, if they do not fall into the “treasure” category, it is easier to give them to a charity shop or orphanage.

Collecting things, also think about which of them your child will get bored more quickly. It is likely that part of the baggage will arrive with a delay of up to a couple of weeks, so decide in advance what you will have to carry with you in your carry-on baggage, and what he or she will remember not soon.

Additional restrictions

In the country you are going to call your new home, there may be special restrictions on the import of certain items.

Many people know that it is prohibited in the United States to import animals and any “undesirable” life forms, be it insects or plant seeds, without special permission. This is how these countries protect their unique flora and fauna.

In accordance with these rules, in the customs quarantine or on the way back there may be objects that are often used on the street and therefore constantly in contact with the environment: bicycles, scooters, skateboards, even balls for street games.

In the same category, by the way, can get and wicker furniture made from natural materials.

To move with the child was not full of surprises for you and for him, you need to know about such nuances in advance.

How to prepare a child for parting with old friends and familiar places?

Come up with something that will be of great importance to your family. You could even create some kind of ritual that would help all family members express their fears and concerns. But most importantly, be an example and role model for your children. Show that you are also afraid of something and worried about something, but you are coping. For example, a child can be involved in the search for housing in a new country. Show how many options there are, how you try to choose the best one for your family, how afraid you are to make a mistake, and how, in the end, you make a choice.

Use humor to reduce the drama of upcoming changes. For example, in a new country, if there is no “Russian store” nearby, you will not be able to get dumplings. Have a solemn farewell with dumplings! Or devote one evening to sculpting homemade ones - let America tremble before the threat of an invasion of Russian dumplings made by your family.

Once again, discuss the move with the child. How he can communicate with old friends: through Skype or Whatsapp, in social networks, in messengers? If there is such an opportunity, you can plan in advance that after a while you will come to visit. Let the child do not have the feeling that he breaks off all ties.

Create a special symbol of your transition together. This could be a book or a photo collage dedicated to the time spent in your current home, friends and people who surrounded you. A box of “hopes and fears” where each family member can leave notes telling them what they are worried about. Or, for example, a farewell necklace, each bead in which will mean something dear to your heart: your best friend, your old school, your favorite swing in the yard, or the river you usually went swimming in in the summer.

How to understand that a child has problems with adaptation

Unfortunately, there is no exact answer to this question. Much depends on the age of the child. In older children, this may include problems with sleep and appetite, changes in mood and behavior. Children have physical illness.

The difficulty is that all these “symptoms” can also be a normal reaction to such significant life changes as moving abroad.

A new climate, a new time zone, new food - all this affects the child. Therefore, you will need all your attention to understand whether they are manifesting themselves for too long and intensely.

An important assessment criterion is how much the “symptoms” affect the child’s daily activities and his basic level of satisfaction with life. To find out, you may have to talk to your school teachers.

In any case, immediately after the move, try to spend more time with your child and hug him more often. Compared with his happiness and well-being, the analysis of things and domestic issues can wait.

How to help your child learn a new language

The main thing that can be recommended here is to find a school that has special support for foreign students who do not yet speak the language well.

Children in this situation often simply remain silent, which confuses the interlocutor and eventually interrupts contacts that are so necessary for learning a foreign language.

An important tip is to teach your child to react in a situation where he does not understand what is being said to him. This could be a standard phrase that is worth learning, for example: “I arrived quite recently and am just learning English. I didn't understand you well. Could you explain again?"

How to help your child cope with homesickness

First, do not leave him alone with this longing. Let the child always have the opportunity to talk with one of the parents, brothers, sisters about what he feels.

Secondly, gradually move from the old to the new. First, let the child be surrounded by familiar things from the past: a favorite toy, books, some memorable things. Focus on what has NOT changed with the move.

Stick to your daily routine, don't change your family habits, whether you’re watching a movie on Fridays or reading before bedtime.

At the same time, show your child that a new place is fun. Go to an amusement park, local pizzeria, ice cream parlor. In general, get out of the house together more often so that your child has the opportunity to communicate with other children.

Share what you loved at home with new friends: cook their favorite dish, show them a movie, or listen to music together. This can be fun and at the same time allow you to build a “bridge” between the past and the future, so that neither you nor your child feels like you are in someone else’s parallel world.