7 stories about emigrants 90's: how they left Russia and why they (did not) return - ForumDaily
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7 stories about 90's emigrants: how they left Russia and why they (did not) return

The author of this material, Olga Kaminka, knows well whether it is easy to be an emigrant: she lived in Denmark from 1992 to 1996 for a year, then returned to Moscow and outlined her experience of survival in the punk novel My 90. The fate of the 90's emigrants was different, but the experience of moving to another country is somewhat similar.

Фото: Depositphotos

By request COLTA.RU Olga Kaminka wrote 7 stories of immigrants belonging to different generations about how they ended up abroad on 1990's, what difficulties they faced, about the mistakes they made, and why they returned to Russia or never return.

Elena Rudberg, 57 years
She lived in the US from 1995 to 2000 year, returned to Moscow

My husband left for 94, and I left for 95. I was 37, and he was 40. These 90s are terrible. We lived in the center of the city, then these “foreign cars” began to appear ... When I passed them with a child, I tried to get faster because they were constantly exploding. Terrorism was wild, and murder is constant. All this was written in the newspapers ... Plus, of course, the whole situation with food, life, etc. It was scary, really scary.

I came across a book in Soyuzpechat about emigration, some kind of memo for 10 kopecks. I read and understood that we have the opportunity to go to America. Since her husband's great aunt was already there in exile. We asked relatives to send us a call. He came quickly enough, we did not even have time to think. By this time we were cooperators. Here and there everything was very good. And one of the reasons, of course, was curiosity. The husband said: "We already know everything here, we will go and see what is there."

We ended up in New York, despite the fact that our relatives were in San Francisco. They sent us the call, but did not make any material commitments for us, so the New York community took us. I think this is just a gift of fate. But I was personally shocked ... New York consists of five cities, we ended up in Brooklyn. I realized that I was in the village, well, maybe in the center of Lyubertsy.

I came there absolutely without a language, I had German in my school. No one was preparing for emigration. The husband knew English, so he immediately began working. And I rented an apartment in Moscow, and when I arrived, I still had the feeling that I had come there as a rich woman. The apartment was worth two thousand dollars. It was a great help. That is, when I arrived, I began to work with my family, my son, to go to an English teacher.

Adaptation is the first seven to eight months. The first months you do not like everything, everything is annoying. You buy food - you don't really know what it is, you try it, you throw it away, etc. Cognition comes with a slight negative. Curiosity disappears quickly and weekdays begin. You're under stress all the time. And after eight months you go outside - and all is well! Passing by these peeing gypsum boys who stand there in every backyard, you stop spitting, and you like it: it's so cute!

My education is a swimming coach, and my husband has a ski race coach. Therefore, we immediately quietly started cooperating. My husband first worked in a real estate agency. He worked in the center of Manhattan, and this gave him knowledge of the city and communication. So the integration went very well for him. And then we had to sell the apartment we rented. And we got some money. My husband bought a music studio in the center of Manhattan in the music building. His business provided all sorts of amplifiers, some stuff, dryuki, guitars, musical instruments. In America, it is forbidden to rehearse in homes, so there is a building where there are rehearsal rooms. Both musicians and school comrades came there, who were simply being dragged out. There was a recording studio. Many musicians then turned out to be in New York, including Bogdan Titomir, for example. The husband did not just record Bogdan, he wrote songs and texts to him. Then Lyme came, they recorded a CD with her. It was a very interesting creative work with her husband. And, of course, my husband did not regret anything. We lasted there for six years.

When families come to emigration, one of the slogans is always: we are going for the sake of the children!

On the other hand, the same moms and dads who come there start to work as undermined, and the children become completely abandoned. Children begin to speak surzhik. And I always wanted my child to speak good Russian and read Russian. But cultural codes are gradually being depleted: neither reading, nor communication ... Plus, I did not like the American school very much. All this in the complex gave impetus to departure.

Фото: Depositphotos

Now we are again in Moscow and have not regretted our decision a single day! We realized that we - the first generation of immigrants - had to completely go under our son, under the second generation. Give him an education. And starting from the third generation, emigrants already begin to live conditionally well, i.e. grandchildren. It turned out that I can not lower myself.

Maxim Lyubavin, 26 years
He lived in Mexico from 1993 to 1997 year, returned to Moscow

I remember superflashbacks, as my great-grandmother watched the shelling of the White House on TV, and then the figak - and then only Mexico.

My father worked from my birth at ZIL, then the plant stopped, and there was simply no work. 93-th year showed that absolutely everything is sad. We had an apartment in Ostankino, where they took by storm the television center. For several days in a row, snipers on the roofs were shot right in front of the windows of our house. Then the parents made the final decision that the child is better not to raise here. So my emigration had a household character.

I was sent by one, “Aeroflot”, writing a power of attorney to the stewardess, paying her 200 dollars so that she could track the transfer and pay part of this amount to some accompanying stewardess on another flight. In Mexico City from Moscow, it was necessary to fly with two transfers. My parents simply did not have money for all these tickets to take me there myself. It was hard for them to contain me. And it was very difficult to maintain yourself.

My grandparents were diplomats, and they had a long-term contract in Mexico in that decade. But they themselves were not completely clear what will happen next and how long they will work there. I tried to learn Spanish, but it did not last long. Everyone understood that the child would not remain in Mexico, it simply could not have been done on some legal basis.

Now people are going to emigrate according to their abilities. Without drama.

I went back to the 1 class and I already remember how a default happened here. When I arrived, I certainly didn’t like it here, I suffered for about a year. It was not clear to me why everything is so strange here and none of the children watched Power Rangers. For the first time, I looked at Star Wars in Spanish. I did not understand, but I saw them, at least! In the first and second grades it was difficult with friends, it was difficult to communicate. I didn’t want to go to the park, because it was dirty there and it doesn’t look like the park I used to walk in. At school I did not understand why I should sit at the same desk with someone else. Then it all passed, because I understood: here it is for me to be, no one will take me back.

Then I traveled a lot. The absolute norm has always been for me to go somewhere. For example, in winter you should always go to the Alps. What else to do in the winter? The most interesting thing is that this attitude to leave the country throughout my life was transmitted to me by my parents. For them, this is a perfectly normal goal to which I should strive.

Of course, Western culture influenced my ideas about how it should be. But I have to apply these ideas and shape the reality according to them here, not there. I have built all my professional activities so that my place is here. And I have to improve it in all possible ways.

I am not against emigration. In 1990, people tried to escape from hard life and were not ready to enter into competition in the West and integrate into the life that is actually there. Now people are going to emigrate according to their abilities. Without drama. This is a very pragmatic act. A generation of people who are able to professionally self-realize in a different socio-cultural and linguistic environment has grown up. If they succeed there, it is much better. Thus, they show that we are also part of the world community, and not some North Korea. You can be proud of them.

Фото: Depositphotos

Anna, 34 of the year
Lives in London since 1990 of the year

I came to London in 9 years. My mother married an Englishman. Just before a collapse happened in Russia: she had a very strong feeling that something was about to happen, that you had to go right now. My assimilation was quite intense. I did not speak English at all, but I watched a lot of cartoons, and it helped. As soon as we arrived, I went to an English school. It was difficult - primarily because of the language. The first refuge here is the Russian church and the community around the church. In those years, it was not as big as it is now. I went to church camp. Basically, my friends were originally from there, Russian-speaking. I did not speak the language for a year, and then everything changed right away. For two years I have become friends, and these are the “true Englishmen”.

I consider myself more English than Russian. But sometimes there are such moments: in England, for example, it’s not customary to talk about emotions. And hypocrisy is generally a national trait. In Russian culture, where I came from, this is unacceptable. For me, it is important to express feelings and be a more direct person.

Do I miss Russian culture in general? Not really. I miss my family (I still have brothers and sisters in Russia), Russian nature, real winter. Well, so - nothing more. I've been here for more than 25 years. Several times was in Russia. That Russia, from which I came as a child, has long ceased to exist. Therefore, no "boredom" can be.

The last time I was in Russia was in 2010. And then, when this experience happened, people were rude, boorish. There was a feeling that the worst was taken from the West: elements of globalization, consumerism, and so on. Impressed me there is not enough. Probably just some nostalgia for the great Russian soul. Religion, monasteries and religious revival.

That Russia, from which I came as a child, has long ceased to exist.

I like living in Britain, I have friends and work here. But if it were necessary to choose another country for living, I would most likely choose Australia. I like their work-life balance, as well as the approach to the sport. It is very difficult to live in London if you do not have a stable job or a certain level of income. But there are a lot of immigrants. Yesterday I was just at a party where there were Russian speakers. And some people came two or three years ago. When I said that I lived here for 25 years, they reacted like this: “Oh! Absolutely embroiled! ”. I don’t see the difference, but those who came a long time ago have more respect for the culture in which they came. The last 10 years, people who come (not only from Russia, from all over Europe), think that someone owes them something. And, in principle, they don’t really want to work. It seems to them that here the sidewalks will be covered in gold, they will immediately be given an apartment, it will not be necessary to work, and that’s all - their right. And, of course, those who arrived recently live in Russian-speaking communes. This is a bit like Brighton Beach, as in America. The same goes for the communes from Pakistan, from India and Bangladesh. Of course, the Australians also hang out with the Australians, and the Danes - with the Danes. But they have no such problems with the language. And in communes, people live because of the language and because of some kind of identity. And they try to come here to transpose their lives here - in London, Bedford or Luthen.

Фото: Depositphotos

Sergey, 35 years
He lived in the Czech Republic from 1980 to 1983 year, from 1987 to 1991 year, from 1997 to 2000 year, returned to Moscow. In 2015, went to Australia

My parents worked in Prague in the trade mission. By the third trip, they became emigrants. At that moment I was already 17 years old. My father worked there, and I came to enroll in a local institute. This school, where I was staged, was as far from ideal as any commercial govnovuz in Moscow 90's. The quality of education is equally bad.

Parents believed that living in Prague was better and more interesting than in Russia. More precisely, we had such a family belief that the Czech Republic is a country where it makes sense to live. Parents have never considered Canada, for example, France or Paraguay. Probably because they, in general, were not anywhere else. I very quickly remembered the language - it affected the first two times when I went there. Six months before the move, I taught him myself, knowing that such a story would happen to me, and in Prague I attended courses. I mastered it very quickly and began to speak almost without an accent. In this regard, everything was fine. But psychologically it was very difficult. It is very difficult to be Russian in Europe, but also Russian in the Czech Republic. Because Russophobia is not politicking, but a real fact that Russians have to face everywhere and always. And even when I was 17 years old, I was constantly poked with some kind of scary 1968 crimes of the year. I tried to explain to them that I was born in 1980 and that I was not responsible for the days gone by. That was the main reason why I ended up returning. It is possible to adapt in the Czech Republic, but it is never possible to assimilate. At least the Russian man. In total, I stayed there for about 10 years, and the last time - two and a half years.

Russophobia is not politicking, but a real fact.

Upon my return to Russia, for a long time I was uncomfortable. When you grow up in a European city, you see how people behave. As cars drive on the roads and do not undercut each other, and if you come across a person in a crowd, you need to say not “your mother!” But “excuse me.” This all leaves an imprint. In fact, I had two adaptations: there, when they brought me to the Czech Republic, and then when I returned. And it is not known yet which was more difficult. I arrived by train from Prague to Moscow, where everything was so gray ... The first impression of the metro was that all people were very sullen, the dim light from the light bulbs and the old cars with round such light bulbs ... They were depressing. Probably about a year I got used to. And then - old friends, new friends ... And somehow it became much easier for me. Well, the country began to change for the better. In Russia, I entered another university, got a good specialty, and even think that I had nothing to do with these 2,5 years in the Czech Republic. Russia has a great technical school, I could get a good technical education here.

I didn’t have sensations that “I couldn’t”, “did not cope,” I just realized that the Czech Republic is a very small country with a very large number of different psychotraumas inflicted on this country both by Russia and by other countries. And they live by this past. There is nothing to do there. I began to consider as some possible alternatives other countries where there are no these post-traumatic syndromes here — Canada, the USA, Australia. Countries open to emigration, where to give a damn where you came from, where a person is valued not by his background, but by what he is. But this is the next chapter.

Now people are leaving with a more mature opinion as to what they want from emigration. That is, each has its own reason, but it is very verified. And now I come across in Australia with people who left for the 90, they were running from collapse. And so far they do not understand what they are doing abroad. I know people who have been living here for 20 for years, but at the same time they wake up early in the morning to watch Russian news. This is the same as loving the Russian authorities very much and advocating import substitution, but driving a German foreign car.

Фото: Depositphotos

Gosh Ostretsov, 48 years
He lived in France from 1989 to 1999 year. Returned to Moscow

I was 22 of the year, I met a French woman, and we got married. And my father lives in Paris, and all my life I wanted to see him. I went to build a family and see my father, and realized that I was leaving Russia forever. I gave the apartment to the state. I burned bridges consciously. It was important for me to go through some kind of initiation. Well, I passed it. I was then going to become a priest and studied theology, worship, iconography. I wanted to study all this in Paris at the theological institute - the Sergiev Compound. There is another theology, there were progressive professors, Schmemann, enlightened clergy. And at that time we lacked many books, a normal Gospel and theology.

But a year has passed. I started an active life, I met a huge number of super-interesting people, I was very fascinated by all this. Just began the rise of the church, the Russian spirituality. And I already left with some regret.

France disappointed me. I really wanted to see some kind of new technology, a new life, and there, on the contrary, everything is a la XIX century. Plus I lost my intellectual and spiritual circle. I spent a whole year catching myself that I stopped thinking, I just had no thoughts. I spent some time in the studio in Montmartre, with my father. He is also an artist, a sculptor, working with precious metals. But I could only adapt after my wife and I divorced and I had to enter the language environment.

And I returned for a very simple reason. When you adapt and understand the nuances of the language, it becomes clear that you will never be allowed into the intellectual environment anymore. Because it is necessary not only to live with them, but to infiltrate their culture, to represent the national pavilions, to present the facts of the culture in which you live. After 10 years, when I already entered such large galleries as Galerie Rabouan Moussion, I realized that I would never be a French artist. And to be a Russian artist in France, to be in another national consciousness in the country in which you live is completely pointless. I was formed mentally as a Russian artist. My teachers are the group of Amanita, Zvezdochetov, Nikita Alekseev, Monastyrsky, Seryozha Anufriev, the whole company. I never wanted to become a Frenchman, because I still really appreciate Russian culture, with all its minuses and advantages.

Further into the intellectual environment you will never be allowed.

A million different things prevented me from returning. You just find yourself at once in such an emigrant situation, a bit painful: as if you are leaving with your time and you remain in it, you can preserve. This is the problem of all immigrants. And it's hard for you to get back into phase. And in Russia, this was a dynamic situation.

It so happened that I had a large photographic exhibition that I was preparing in Paris for Moscow. And I arrived at the photo biennale with the goal to stay. Here I was waiting for all the problems at once. There was not even money on the subway, not something to eat; and there was nowhere to sleep, and there was nowhere to live. It was difficult to adapt in the artistic environment. I was perceived as a loser, who did not succeed here, it did not work there. I came to the curators, and they said: “You are not in context” ... For three years I hadn’t been invited anywhere and hadn’t been taken. The market over the years has been formed without me, without my participation. Only new galleries, which are now appearing and in whose life I take part, perceive me adequately, and they have clients for me. But no regrets anymore. I can live a full life and participate in the formation of my own culture, and there I could never do it.

Now I work with the whole world, I travel constantly, a lot of things are happening. I meet people there: they come and they leave. They do not even consider themselves immigrants. But still they are immigrants! This is the beginning of the disease - a person constantly lives abroad, but does not consider himself an emigrant. Now they are fleeing Russia with a good financial pillow, in a comfortable situation. Few people today are going to live in misery. But they still will not fit into any intellectual elite, because it is necessary to disclose all cultural codes. It is impossible to do this.

Фото: Depositphotos

Sisters Olga and Elena Bekritsky, 45 years
Live in Germany since 1997

We went to 1997, in Germany, and we were 27 years old. We at that time worked very successfully in theaters. Everything was very good. 90 is the most joyful memory. We started in the Individual Directing Workshop under the direction of Bori Yukhananov, worked with Yura Kharikov, and assisted in the play “The Garden” at the very beginning of 90's. Then Yura invited us, as they call theater-goers, to the “professional theater”, we did a lot of assistance with him in Lenkom at the Royal Games and finished at the Maly Theater — we did assistance at the Krechinsky Wedding. And then we left immediately.

We were interested! There were other possibilities, and we wanted to try. Honestly, at that age everything is very curious. And we wanted to finish my studies. We had a diploma from the Textile Academy, an applied department. The Berlin Academy of Arts recognized everything that we graduated from, we learned two more years and made a diploma in fashion design.

Here, in general, another life. No better and no worse, just different. In a different way, for example, work in the theater, work on projects, the life of the artist. In Moscow, when you got into a professional theater, you already came to a certain financing, the theater dealt with these issues. And here is another system. It is possible and so, and you can personally get funding. Small or large - it already depends on the promptness and connections, the complexity of the project and the relevance of the topic. I do not know why someone is given money, but not to someone, this is a secret. But you can get and do everything yourself: choose a site, choose with whom you want and with whom you do not want to work, find free people who will do something for you, or do it yourself. That is, there are many options, as an artist can build their work.

If you immerse yourself in Russia, then it’s impossible to go somewhere.

The language was difficult - we are terribly incapable. We studied at special language courses, taught for five months, practiced in the theater for a month. This is all within the framework of the profession. But our field of activity is not a conversational genre, we drew. And immediately, while still in practice, we already found work. But I will make a footnote - there is a lot of work in Cologne, in Berlin it is more difficult. It is very bad there. We studied there, but we did not stay there. It was a very bad experience in terms of everything, just some kind of injury. Everyone says: “Well, what do you Muscovites love Berlin very much!”. There, the work is very bad, despite the fact that a huge number of good theaters. There, people are not used to paying money for work at all! This is a city of people receiving some benefits, in extreme cases - grants! Many will disagree with us. Maybe there should be in another branch, not in the dressing room ... Perhaps the biologist will settle there.

We wanted to go to England for quite a while. If it is specifically engaged in theatrical activity, then there is more interesting. This, of course, a different level than in Germany. If you engage in fashion, then it’s rather in Paris, not in London. But from the point of view of any pragmatic considerations in Germany, of course, easier and better. Even better in Austria. In Austria, for example, a good social package, insurance and medical care.

You have to be a citizen of the world! And everything is not bad in Russia, and not bad in Germany. But we are already used to it. When you live here, there are more opportunities. From here you can come to Russia and to other countries. And it's easier to present yourself. And if you immerse yourself in Russia, then it's impossible to go anywhere at all. Is there more employment there? People can't even visit us!

And we, in general, did not leave our cultural environment. We now have our own project - a puppet performance. We will be showing it in December at the Freiraum Galerie Halle. "K3" - Kunst, cultures, conflict. We have many projects in Russia. Recently we went to the theater in Perm, we made a children's opera there. Have done with Alexander Shein film. From 2009 to 2011, we worked in Kharkiv on the Dow project. We sat there in the studio from morning till night. Normal perfectly. Maybe we have such a warehouse character?

Фото: Depositphotos

Vladimir, 63 of the year
Lives in Israel since 1993

I was 40, I got two degrees and worked for a good job. And it became not so boring for me, but I wanted adventures or something ... This is the first, but not the main thing. And the main thing is that I had two sons and I was afraid that one and the second would be taken to the army. It was very restless in both 91 and 93 ... I did not want them to stay there. The only way to leave was Israel.

Here you need to pay for everything. Not that big money, but they are needed. If we had the money, I would have realized myself. For example, my profession is a lawyer. His wife is a musician by training and worked 18 for years as a head teacher at a music school. We decided this: she goes to work, I go to study. Who did she work for? Cleaner she worked! I finished the courses with great difficulty: I found a job as a security guard, I worked and studied. After the courses I was allowed to pass exams in legal disciplines. I had to pass nine. I passed six and then stopped. The material situation was so bad that I had to go to work. Not that you get something special, but just enough for a piece of bread to pay for an apartment. We came to capitalism, about which we knew nothing.

The first three years, even the first five years, are, of course, thoughts: to return, run away and forget as if it were a nightmare. But few people come back from here. They just do not let the debts they collect. Here is such a system: if you do not take money in the bank, loans, then you simply will not survive. And to go to Russia, it is necessary to pay off debts. If you save money to pay, then with what then go to Russia? Many remain - get used to, someone is lucky, someone has relatives, patronage plays a very important role. Slowly you become a citizen of the country in which you live. I am amazed here by family traditions observed from time immemorial. My wife likes the Israeli temperament and the riot of spring paints after the rain.

All places have long been occupied by those who arrived a little earlier.

We arrived at a bare place. We had no one in Israel. Well, two relatives. They were then almost 70 years old. They said such nonsense! There are, of course, organizations that allegedly suggest, but there, unfortunately, there are people whom you are still indifferent. You’ve got a hundred rubles, so you’ll get goodbye. If a good friend of mine came to Israel now and asked: “How do I start living?” - I think that with 99% I would tell him everything correctly. In three or four years, if he has a specialty and a higher education, he would have already worked in this specialty and would have been pleased. And here it all stretched out on 10 — 12 years.

Only 10 years later, I realized that I made the right choice, but the wrong moves. Where it was necessary to make a plus, we did a minus, because we had no one to tell. Our first purchase is two carpets on the floor. Then we threw them away, they were not needed. An Arab came and said: it is cold here in winter, take it to walk on the floor. But this is a lot of money! We gave a thousand or one and a half shekels for carpets that were not needed at all!

In due time both sons left here. When the elder left, we were in a very serious position - material, psychological and even mental, I will tell you ... When he made this decision, it was a shock for us. We did not object, or rather, just kept silent. He graduated from the first degree of bachelor and left. Here, for sure, he would not have achieved even a quarter of what he does in Moscow. He makes films. And when the younger one was leaving ... well, we thought that he had passed through such a serious school in Israel. He knew what work was. And what is learning, I knew. But still, now he decided to come to give birth to a child in Israel, and recently my granddaughter was born here.

They say we are “sausage” emigration ... Yes, there was a huge contrast. In 90-s we left poor Russia for well-fed Israel. When we went to the supermarkets, we were just shocked how much food there was - and the food available! When I saw sneakers in free sale (I was engaged in sports) and “Adidas” suits, I was just in shock: “How can I go and buy it?”. But we did not go for this. We are all graduated. If earlier they came from the CIS countries mostly - Turkmenistan, Uzbekistan, now they come from big cities and, as a rule, people are educated, which is even worse because nobody here is waiting for them. All places have long been occupied by those who arrived a little earlier. Those who come here now do not experience shock, here they are all the same as in Russia. Another thing is that in Russia it is available for them, but in Israel it still needs to be earned, and this is oh, how difficult it is.

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